Giving Our Kids "Peaceful Fruit"

Neal Pollard

Paul's inspired illustration about the church is so rich and powerful that Ephesians 5:22-33 is a text that has been used to preach many a sermon about marriage.  What the writer of Hebrews does with Divine discipline is just as compelling.  In urging the Christians to remain faithful despite persecution (Heb. 12:4), he tells them they had forgotten the biblical exhortation about God's discipline of His children.  The writer goes on to use the illustration of earthly parents disciplining their children.

You have seen the fruit of undisciplined children.  It is both rotten and smelly, whether it's a toddler's tantrum, an adolescent's attitude, or a teenager's "'tude."  Seeing undisciplined children is enough to appreciate the wisdom of statements like "a child left to himself brings shame to his mother" (Prov. 29:15).  It is unattractive in youth, but destructive in adulthood.

In Hebrews 12, the writer uses the word "discipline" eight times in seven verses (plus one time inserted by translators in verse 10).  That makes it vital to the context of this paragraph.  Discipline proves love to children (6), provides legitimacy to children (7-8), produces loyalty from children (9), and perfects pure lives in children (10) though it prompts lamentations in children when it is administered (11).  Yet, in showing how He interacts with His faithful ones, God reminds us how He wants us to parent our children.  He wants us to teach them discipline.

How do we do that?  The writer uses words like "reprove" (5) and "scourges" (6) "as seemed best to them" (10) in a way that "for the moment" is "sorrowful" for the child (11).  If you ever had a parent who failed to "spare the rod" of correction, you can relate.  We do well to remember that "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him" (Prov. 22:15).

"Experts" tell us that all corporal punishment will warp and frustrate the recipients.  Violent, uncontrolled hitting may well do so, but not loving, measured spankings meant to teach right from wrong.  Likewise, having rules and restrictions, consistently enforced, gives a child structure and boundaries.  Children actually want to know their limits, and they (and God) expect parents to spell them out to them.  Look down the road at the consequences of that kind of parenting.  What will your children reap?  The inspired writer calls it "the peaceful fruit of righteousness" (11).  There are few gifts as precious and meaningful as that!

"Help! I'm A Parent And I'm Scared!"

Gary's "New Home"

Neal Pollard

Author Jeramy Clark has written, "The tragedy of our age is that we're at a crossroads, but all the signposts have fallen down."  He was writing about teen and young adult-related matters, and we could talk specifically about any number of signposts.  The question is, "How do we, as parents, react to this tragedy?"  

We could be apathetic, but how could we dare fail to care?  We could be dismissive, saying that sinful actions or habits are a phase or inevitable, but how could be cavalier when souls we helped bring into being are in the balance?  We could be helpless, but how could we abdicate our God-given roles?  Under-reaction is not the answer.

We could become protective, smothering, and paranoid, but that could easily stunt the emotional and spiritual growth of our children.  We could become fearful and irrational, but that is contrary to the spirit we are to possess.  Overreaction is not the answer, either.

As the father of three teenage boys, I realize how scary the process is.  I made my first "college drop" last week, leaving my oldest son at his dorm 1,400 miles from our front door.  I remember how scary it was when we started the driving process.  We are in the middle of that with our middle son.  Driving is dangerous.  If it is done incorrectly, it can be deadly.  But, what is the answer?  Don't let them drive until after they graduate, get a job, and get married?  Is it to turn let them behind the wheel without rules, guidelines, and plenty of practice?  No!  It is to train them, trust them, and turn them loose.

It can be scary, difficult, and overwhelming, at times, to do the job God bequeathed to parents (cf. Prov. 22:6; Eph. 6:1-4).  At best, we will repeatedly stumble and fail.  There will be a measure of regret.  Our work is to instill, by example and teaching, the mind of Christ in them, and then give them grace and accountability to put it into practice themselves!  I just wish it was easier!