"Help! I'm A Parent And I'm Scared!"

Gary's "New Home"

Neal Pollard

Author Jeramy Clark has written, "The tragedy of our age is that we're at a crossroads, but all the signposts have fallen down."  He was writing about teen and young adult-related matters, and we could talk specifically about any number of signposts.  The question is, "How do we, as parents, react to this tragedy?"  

We could be apathetic, but how could we dare fail to care?  We could be dismissive, saying that sinful actions or habits are a phase or inevitable, but how could be cavalier when souls we helped bring into being are in the balance?  We could be helpless, but how could we abdicate our God-given roles?  Under-reaction is not the answer.

We could become protective, smothering, and paranoid, but that could easily stunt the emotional and spiritual growth of our children.  We could become fearful and irrational, but that is contrary to the spirit we are to possess.  Overreaction is not the answer, either.

As the father of three teenage boys, I realize how scary the process is.  I made my first "college drop" last week, leaving my oldest son at his dorm 1,400 miles from our front door.  I remember how scary it was when we started the driving process.  We are in the middle of that with our middle son.  Driving is dangerous.  If it is done incorrectly, it can be deadly.  But, what is the answer?  Don't let them drive until after they graduate, get a job, and get married?  Is it to turn let them behind the wheel without rules, guidelines, and plenty of practice?  No!  It is to train them, trust them, and turn them loose.

It can be scary, difficult, and overwhelming, at times, to do the job God bequeathed to parents (cf. Prov. 22:6; Eph. 6:1-4).  At best, we will repeatedly stumble and fail.  There will be a measure of regret.  Our work is to instill, by example and teaching, the mind of Christ in them, and then give them grace and accountability to put it into practice themselves!  I just wish it was easier!

Colorado Forest Fire

The picture above is what most people in the Denver Metro Area witnessed. Seeing the plume of smoke was quite surreal. It was hard to imagine that a forest fire was responsible for this and not some volcano hiding behind the mountains. As of this afternoon, the fire was 0% contained. High winds also made the situation worse since air support was unable to lend a hand until today. In fact, about 3,000 acres went ablaze in a matter of hours during yesterday's high winds. So far, at least 2 people have died, 16 structures torched, 4,500 acres of forest have burned, 900 homes have been evacuated, and another 6,500 have been warned.

It's quite hard to grasp the power of nature until it is growling on your doorstep. The power of a forest fire is simply astonishing. When we keep this situation in mind, it makes the words of James 3:5b-6 resound like never before:

"...See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell."

James is specifically speaking to teachers here, but there is application for all of us. Far too often we start small fires when we let our words hurt others. If we are not careful, the fires we start can quickly become uncontrollable when the winds of gossip, lies, anger, and hate come blowing through. The next thing we know, our words have "defiled our bodies," and "set our lives on fire." There is no way to completely heal the damage we cause when we allow our tongues to go free.

Forest fires are bad enough. We don't need any "family fires," "congregational fires," "gossip fires," or fires of any kind for that matter. Too many people have been driven away from the Lord because of nasty, harsh, and hurtful words. We must be more careful with the words we speak. Not only can it jeopardize others' salvation, but our own as well.